mathuect
Jan 17th, 2012, 08:54 PM
http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/frontsquare/survival_kit_sardine_can.jpg
This is the kit at a glance. Looks like a normal sardine can. In fact, it is a handy survival kit that may keep you alive long enough to question why on earth you didn't buy a better kit. Still, when you open it up you find these amazing contents!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/additional/large/survival_kit_sardine_can_contents.jpg
Lets start with the Tootsie roll. Honestly, who doesn't love tootsie rolls? They are chocolatey goodness that will leave you saying "why the hell did they give me a FU$#!^G Tootsie roll!?" The calories from one regular sized tootsie roll will be enough to fuel your body to question the rest of the contents of this kit. They even give you a stick of gum, because honestly no one loves tootsie roll breath.
Ahhh, the weeny whistle. Assuming that you are near a center of people this could be your ticket to help and civilization. Also, if you are near people, why are you using a survival kit? Don't kid yourself, just yell out "I'm here" and someone will be like "Shut up already, we know where you are." If you are further out in the wild, the whistle is just going to really annoy the animals that will be eating your remains in a couple days.
Matches? Matches are good. But honestly i would never trust my life to them as a slight breeze or exhale and you are done.
Now we are getting somewhere. There is a tea bag! Just in case you happen to have a cup of water you can make yourself some tea, and a packet of sweetener to boot. How about that?
There is even a mirror in there. This will be great to see how trashed up you look trying to survive with this kit.
There are a few handy medical supplies as well. Alcohol swab, a band-aid, and some antibiotic ointment. These will come in handy when you realize that your kit contains a razor blade, and you have decided to give the natural process a little help and speed up the dieing process. They even throw in a pencil and slip of paper to write your final farewell to the world.
Good luck surviving in the wild friends!
This is the kit at a glance. Looks like a normal sardine can. In fact, it is a handy survival kit that may keep you alive long enough to question why on earth you didn't buy a better kit. Still, when you open it up you find these amazing contents!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/additional/large/survival_kit_sardine_can_contents.jpg
Lets start with the Tootsie roll. Honestly, who doesn't love tootsie rolls? They are chocolatey goodness that will leave you saying "why the hell did they give me a FU$#!^G Tootsie roll!?" The calories from one regular sized tootsie roll will be enough to fuel your body to question the rest of the contents of this kit. They even give you a stick of gum, because honestly no one loves tootsie roll breath.
Ahhh, the weeny whistle. Assuming that you are near a center of people this could be your ticket to help and civilization. Also, if you are near people, why are you using a survival kit? Don't kid yourself, just yell out "I'm here" and someone will be like "Shut up already, we know where you are." If you are further out in the wild, the whistle is just going to really annoy the animals that will be eating your remains in a couple days.
Matches? Matches are good. But honestly i would never trust my life to them as a slight breeze or exhale and you are done.
Now we are getting somewhere. There is a tea bag! Just in case you happen to have a cup of water you can make yourself some tea, and a packet of sweetener to boot. How about that?
There is even a mirror in there. This will be great to see how trashed up you look trying to survive with this kit.
There are a few handy medical supplies as well. Alcohol swab, a band-aid, and some antibiotic ointment. These will come in handy when you realize that your kit contains a razor blade, and you have decided to give the natural process a little help and speed up the dieing process. They even throw in a pencil and slip of paper to write your final farewell to the world.
Good luck surviving in the wild friends!