I need your help with the type for the box covers: [Archive]

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Jun 6th, 2011, 02:35 PM

Ok, I need your help! One of the most difficult things for me to do is come up with short synopsis about We're Alive. I'm having a hard time getting these proofed and done, and was curious if anyone had suggestions? I'm working on these over the next few days:

These are for the re-released Back Covers for We're Alive.

Season 1 back:

The exciting audio-drama “We’re Alive” begins with season one.
A small riot in LA has spread past containment. Three reserve sol*diers are called to their deserted duty station. Believed to be the last remaining armed servicemen in the area, Michael, Angel, and Saul wit*ness the true cause of the riot: people are starting to change and attack each other. Armed with only what they can carry, they set out to secure an apartment building and rescue survivors scattered amongst the shat*tered remains of civilization. In a world turned upside down, every day is a struggle, as those who have taken refuge in “the tower” find out that even their safe haven is under constant threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?

Season 2 Back:

The exciting audio-drama “We’re Alive” continues into season two, plunging listeners back into a ravaged world of violence and terror.
The hope of a better life forces the survivors of the tower out into the dissolving world around them. The consequences of past battles leave them struggling not only with each other but the remaining fragments of humanity.

Ra1th

Jun 6th, 2011, 03:13 PM

Here's what I could do.

Season 1 Back:

The riveting audio-drama “We’re Alive” begins with season one.

A seemingly small riot in LA has just spread past containment as three reserve soldiers are called to their deserted duty station. Believed to be the last remaining armed servicemen in the area, Michael, Angel, and Saul witness the true cause of the riot. An infection is turning people into monsters; mindless creatures with an overwhelming craving for human flesh.
Armed with only what they can carry, the trio set out to secure an apartment building and rescue any survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of civilization. In a world where the infected run amok, every day is a struggle, as those who have taken refuge in “the tower” find out that even their safe haven is under constant threat. Can they survive in a world overrun by zombies?

Season 2 Back:

The award winning audio-drama “We’re Alive” continues into season two, plunging listeners back into a ravaged world of violence and terror.

The hope of a better life forces the survivors of the tower out into the dissolving remains of the world around them. The consequences of past battles leave them struggling not only with each other but the remaining fragments of humanity.

itsallgoodie

Jun 6th, 2011, 06:19 PM

This is what I got, its probably not perfect but I think i made some improvements. Take what you like and leave what you dont.

Season 1 back:

The exhilarating audio-drama “We’re Alive” begins with season one:
The story begins with a small riot in LA that has spread past containment. Three reserve soldiers, Michael (Jim Gleason), Angel (Shane Salk), and Saul (Nate Geez) are called to duty. They quickly realizing upon arrival that they are likely the last remaining armed servicemen in the area, the trio witness the true cause of the riot: people are starting to change and attack each other. Armed with only what they can carry, they set out to secure an apartment building and rescue survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of California. In this new era of mankind, every day is a struggle, as those who have taken refuge in “the tower” find out that even their safe haven is under constant threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by the undead?

Season 2 Back:

The award winning audio-drama "We're Alive" continues into season two, plunging listeners back into a ravaged world of violence and terror.

The hope of a better life forces the survivors of the tower out into the dissolving remains of the world around them. The consequences of past battles leave them struggling not only with each other but the remaining fragments of humanity. Join Michael (Jim Gleason), Angel (Shane Salk), Saul (Nate Geez) and, the other residents of the tower as they face new and old threats, learn more about the undead, and make new enemies along the way...

nikvoodoo

Jun 6th, 2011, 07:24 PM

Here's my $.02

Season 1 back:
The gripping and electrifying audio drama "We're Alive" begins on a quiet morning in May, 2009. Army Reservist Michael Cross is attending class at a local college near Los Angeles when the riots broke out. Recalled to active duty along with Angel Tunudo, and Saul Tink they soon realize the riots were not what they appeared to be. The rioters aren't looting, or setting fires: They are ripping people apart. As the only respondents to their unit's call, the three soldiers set out into the unknown taking only what they can carry with them. The Plan: Secure an apartment building (The Tower), and save other survivors along the way, if there are any. As this new reality sets in, how can they survive when their new home is under constant threat of attack from known (and sometimes unknown) enemies?

Season 2 Back:
The Award Winning Audio Drama "We're Alive" returns for its second thrilling season!
The consequences of The Tower's actions from Season 1 propel the story into Season 2, where life and death decisions need to be made. As the Tower residents continue to explore the crumbling remnants of society for its limited resources, they must push further and further away from their home encountering new and terrifying enemies: Some expected, while some are not.

cupcakezombie

Jun 6th, 2011, 08:42 PM

I like the season 1 stuff you guys have added.
I think we can have a tiny bit of potentially spoilerish stuff in the season 2 blurb (as you would expect listeners to have listened to season 1 first):

The Award Winning Audio Drama "We're Alive" returns for its second thrilling season!
Season 2 picks up where season 1 leaves off, with the Tower and its residents dealing with the aftermath of the war. With their new home beginning to crumble around them, life and death decisions need to be made. As the Tower residents continue to explore the remnants of society for its limited resources and other survivors, they must push further and further away from their home encountering new and terrifying enemies. Loyalties will be tested, people will we be pushed to breaking point and we will see just how far some will go to survive.

At least something like that doesn't give anything away that you might not guess would happen anyway. :)

COsurvivor

Jun 6th, 2011, 09:31 PM

Here is my take on this... I took a few hours and a few rewrites to get this up.

Season 1 back:

Cities are known as concrete jungles and on May 8th 2009 these jungles have begun to kill... A riot in LA has spread past containment, all available assets are called including a reservists unit just back from Iraq. Three reserve soldiers, Staff Sergeant Michael Cross (Jim Gleason), Lt. Angel Tunudo (Shane Salk), and Specialist Saul Tink (Nate Geez) are called to duty, but to just what "DUTY" none are sure of.

With no orders and no clear plan, Sergeant Cross takes point and leads this rag-tag unit to, of all places, an apartment complex. If staying alive was not hard enough, Staff Sergeant Cross makes it his mission to save as many people in LA as he can. Just who will survive the day and will wish they hadn't?

Will these three stay alive long enough to claim that "We're Alive"?

Season 2 Back:

Damned if you do, Damned if you Don't... Season One (1) has left "The Tower" on fire and infested, along with the inhabitants out of ammunition. Can Staff Sergeant Michael Cross (Jim Gleason) come up with a plan to save "The Tower"? Can he continue to protect his "family"? Will the inhabitants want his leadership? Will they survive the next ordeal? Should the banner be changed to "We're Not Dead"?

cupcakezombie

Jun 6th, 2011, 09:45 PM

With no orders and no clear plan,

Love that bit! :)

Ra1th

Jun 6th, 2011, 09:54 PM

I'd just like to take a moment and say, "AWARD WINNING" WAS MY IDEA!!!

<-------- Attention whore

cupcakezombie

Jun 6th, 2011, 09:59 PM

I'd just like to take a moment and say, "AWARD WINNING" WAS MY IDEA!!!

Props to you too. I did like that as well! I am glad you are so humble about it too.

StepLaugh

Jun 6th, 2011, 11:59 PM

I'd just like to take a moment and say, "AWARD WINNING" WAS MY IDEA!!!

Well you didn't make it award winning :p

Ra1th

Jun 7th, 2011, 12:45 AM

Props to you too. I did like that as well! I am glad you are so humble about it too.

Well you didn't make it award winning :p

<3 you guys too

Jun 7th, 2011, 08:27 AM

These are great! I'm going to steal pieces from each i think! :)

COsurvivor

Jun 7th, 2011, 05:38 PM

These are great! I'm going to steal pieces from each i think! :)

I think that was the hope from those who posted...

I did try to go a different way from the others as I saw a similar path, but using a different wording... (Sorry Attention Whore)

I hope you come away with seomthing very very useful from all of this.

nikvoodoo

Jun 7th, 2011, 06:15 PM

I think that was the hope from those who posted...

I did try to go a different way from the others as I saw a similar path, but using a different wording... (Sorry Attention Whore)

I hope you come away with seomthing very very useful from all of this.

Psssh....you...not follower you........having your own thoughts and....stuff.....;)

Jun 9th, 2011, 09:08 AM

OK< Here's what I have. Can you proof it? I took a little of everything, talked with someone at RPS Marketing, bounced off a few other people and here she is: ANY mistakes, grammer, etc, let me know-

The gripping <code id="strikethroughResult"></code> story of "We're Alive" begins on a quiet morning in May, 2009. Army Reservist Michael Cross is attending class at a local college near Los Angeles when riots broke out. Recalled to active duty along with Angel Tunudo, and Saul Tink they soon realize the riots were not what they appeared to be. The rioters aren't looting, or setting fires: They are ripping people apart. Armed with only what they can carry, they set out to secure an apartment building and rescue survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of the concrete jungle. In a world turned upside down, every day is a struggle. Those who have taken refuge in "The Tower" find out that even their safe-haven is under constant threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With a movie quality sound design and full cast of characters this modern audio drama will immerse you into the struggle for survival to find out who can claim the title “We’re Alive.”

itsallgoodie

Jun 9th, 2011, 09:16 AM

much better, you dont want me looking for GUM mistakes though...i would make it worse.

Jun 9th, 2011, 09:29 AM

Ok, I changed the First sentence. It was "The gripping and electrifying audio drama "We're Alive" begins on a quiet morning in May, 2009" -- We mention the audio drama thing at the end and two punch words was a bit much-

AdrianHD

Jun 9th, 2011, 09:35 AM

Maybe I'm wrong, but:

"Recalled to active duty along with Angel Tunudo, and Saul Tink they soon realize"

There may need a comma or colon after Tink.

nikvoodoo

Jun 9th, 2011, 09:49 AM

Maybe I'm wrong, but:

"Recalled to active duty along with Angel Tunudo, and Saul Tink they soon realize"

There may need a comma or colon after Tink.

Usually when you are done with a list you don't need another bit of punctuation to continue your sentence. I'll have Mrs. Voodoo (the English teacher) check it out when she gets home today to give it the grammatical once over.

Ra1th

Jun 9th, 2011, 10:47 AM

The gripping <code id="strikethroughResult"></code> story of "We're Alive" begins on a quiet morning in May, 2009. Army Reservist Michael Cross WAS attending class at a local college near Los Angeles when riots broke out. Recalled to active duty along with Angel Tunudo, and Saul Tink they soon realize the riots were not what they appeared to be. The rioters aren't looting, or setting fires: They are ripping people apart. Armed with only what they can carry, they set out to secure an apartment building and rescue survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of the concrete jungle. In a world turned upside down, every day is a struggle. Those who have taken refuge in "The Tower" find out that even their safe-haven is under constant threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With a movie quality sound design and full cast of characters this modern audio drama will immerse you into the struggle for survival to find out who can claim the title “We’re Alive.”

nikvoodoo

Jun 9th, 2011, 10:55 AM

Upon rereading: "Scattered" and "shattered" being in the same sentence is somewhat jarring to my mind, but maybe that's just me. It's not that it doesn't make sense or anything, it's just two similar sounding words in close proximity.

Maybe "spread across the shattered..."? I might just be over thinking it too.

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:19 AM

I just received another revision from the one I re-sent from another Writer who worked with what the marketer did:

" On a quiet Friday morning in May, Army Reservist Michael Cross is settling into his world cultures class at Santa Roja college near Los Angeles, when he hears an explosion in the distance. He rushes out to discover on television that riots have broken out across the county. Recalled to active duty, Michael and two fellow reservists, Angel Tenudo and Saul Tink, set out to put down the uprising and restore peace to the city. But when they hit the streets, what they find sends them reeling in shock and struggling for survival: these rioters aren’t looting or setting fires: they are ripping people apart.
Armed with only what they can carry, the three set out to secure “The Tower,” an apartment building where they hope to rescue and shelter the survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of the concrete jungle. Those who take refuge in "The Tower" find out that there is no real safe-haven, and every day brings a new threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With movie-quality sound , and a full cast of characters, this electrifying modern audio drama will immerse you in the struggle for survival to find out who can truly claim “We’re Alive!”

I did some minor filling in, so there might be a few grammatical flubs...

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:20 AM

Ra1th

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:26 AM

Does santa roja college really need mention? I like county. county sounds nice. Maybe add something saying that they are the only reservists who showed up, cause otherwise Angel, Saul, and Michael seem like super soldiers or something.
Recalled to active duty, Michael and two fellow reservists, Angel Tenudo and Saul Tink, set out to put down the uprising and restore peace to the city. But when they hit the streets, what they find sends them reeling in shock and struggling for survival: these rioters aren’t looting or setting fires: they are ripping people apart. I think that whole sentence needs rephrasing cause they realize it's a zombie apocalypse after they fall under attack, and they never really try to quell the riots. That's my take on it anyway.

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:27 AM

Does santa roja college really need mention? I like county. county sounds nice. Maybe add something saying that they are the only reservists who showed up, cause otherwise Angel, Saul, and Michael seem like super soldiers or something. I think that whole sentence needs rephrasing cause they realize it's a zombie apocalypse after they fall under attack, and they never really try to quell the riots. That's my take on it anyway.
That's a good call... I'm still working on it. Let me do some manipulation.

nikvoodoo

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:29 AM

I just received another revision from the one I re-sent from another Writer who worked with what the marketer did:

I did some minor filling in, so there might be a few grammatical flubs...

Did the timeline get fixed in chapter 1&2? Because if it's Friday when he's at school (per this blurb), Saul said it's Friday when Michael woke up after sleeping for two days straight after Lizzy gets let into the Tower (per the story)

I like this version. I actually kinda like it a lot.

I do see that there's "Struggle(ing) for survival" twice. I'd personally ditch the one just before describing the rioters so it would read "...what they find sends them reeling in shock: these rioters aren't looting..." that gives the one in the tag line sentence a little more power.

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:30 AM

Version 7:

 On a quiet Friday morning in May, Army Reservist Michael Cross is settling into his world cultures class at Santa Roja college near Los Angeles, when he hears an explosion in the distance. He rushes out to discover on television that riots have broken out across the county. Recalled to active duty, Michael and two fellow reservists, Angel Tenudo and Saul Tink, believe they’re there to put down the uprising and restore peace to the city. But when heading to their base, what they find sends them reeling in shock and struggling for survival: these rioters aren’t looting or setting fires: they are ripping people apart.
Armed with only what they can carry, the three set out to secure “The Tower,” an apartment building where they hope to rescue and shelter the survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of the concrete jungle. Those who take refuge in "The Tower" find out that there is no real safe-haven, and every day brings a new threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With movie-quality sound , and a full cast of characters, this electrifying modern audio drama will immerse you in the struggle for survival to find out who can truly claim “We’re Alive!”

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:31 AM

Did the timeline get fixed in chapter 1&2? Because if it's Friday when he's at school (per this blurb), Saul said it's Friday when Michael woke up after sleeping for two days straight after Lizzy gets let into the Tower (per the story)

Crap, that's right. That would make it Wednesday.

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:33 AM

Version 8:

 On a quiet Wednesday morning in May, Army Reservist Michael Cross is settling into his world cultures class at Santa Roja college near Los Angeles, when he hears an explosion in the distance. He rushes out to discover on television that riots have broken out across the county. Recalled to active duty, Michael and two fellow reservists, Angel Tenudo and Saul Tink, believe they’re there to put down the uprising and restore peace to the city. But when heading to their base, what they find sends them reeling in shock and struggling for survival: these rioters aren’t looting or setting fires: they are ripping people apart.
Armed with only what they can carry, the three set out to secure “The Tower,” an apartment building where they hope to rescue and shelter the survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of the concrete jungle. Those who take refuge in "The Tower" find out that there is no real safe-haven, and every day brings a new threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With movie-quality sound , and a full cast of characters, this electrifying modern audio drama will immerse you in the battle for survival to find out who can truly claim “We’re Alive!”

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:35 AM

JUST received a little fixing from my teacher friend:
Version 9:
 On a quiet Wednesday morning in May, Army Reservist Michael Cross is settling into his world cultures class at Santa Roja college near Los Angeles, when he hears an explosion in the distance. He rushes out to discover on television that riots have broken out across the county. When the Army recalls them to active duty, Michael and fellow reservists, Angel Tenudo and Saul Tink, believe they’re there to put down the uprising and restore peace to the city. But when heading to their base, what they find sends them reeling in shock and struggling for survival: these rioters aren’t looting or setting fires: they are ripping people apart.
Armed with only what they can carry, the three set out to secure “The Tower,” an apartment building where they hope to rescue and shelter the survivors scattered amongst the shattered remains of the concrete jungle. Those who take refuge in "The Tower" find out that there is no real safe-haven, and every day brings a new threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With movie-quality sound , and a full cast of characters, this electrifying modern audio drama will immerse you in the battle for survival to find out who can truly claim “We’re Alive!”

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:40 AM

Does santa roja college really need mention? The two people I spoke with said that the more specific the better. They directly gave me the note to add the name.

Grognaurd

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:49 AM

I have not followed this thread, there is only so much time in the day...

But, I would drop some of the specifics. We are taught to pay attention to specific facts, but in this case they are less important than the whole and take a way from the mood.

Is the "Wednesday" important to the Survival and mood of story? World Culture Class at Santa Roja? I have listened through the entire story several times. Granted, most of them at background rather than me being rivited to the story. But, even I do not remember World Culture Class.

Meh, I am late to this and should probably just bow out. With my luck, someone just told you to put in as many specifics as you can.

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:51 AM

7oddisdead

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:57 AM

no world culture class. specifics are good till you reach that point, and your about there. and no hidden dirty words.....im a wiz at crosswords :)

nikvoodoo

Jun 9th, 2011, 11:59 AM

no world culture class. specifics are good till you reach that point, and your about there. and no hidden dirty words.....im a wiz at crosswords :)

However, It does give you a brief snippet of personality of Michael. Meaning he thinks on a broader scale potentially because he's studying world cultures. Does it require some extra thinking? Yup. So maybe it doesn't belong, however I don't mind it being there.

Grognaurd

Jun 9th, 2011, 12:06 PM

If one wants more about what drives Michael's thinking I would highlight veteran of three tours in Iraq. Or Military intelligence. He draws much more heavily on that than his college education. Mark Twain said "Never let your schooling interfer with your education", right?

Jun 9th, 2011, 12:16 PM

Draft 10:

On a quiet Wednesday morning in May, Army Reservist Michael Cross is settling into his world cultures class at Santa Roja college near Los Angeles, when he hears an explosion in the distance. He rushes out to discover on television that riots have broken out across the county. When the Army recalls them to active duty, Michael and fellow reservists, Angel Tenudo and Saul Tink, believe their job will be to put down the uprising and restore peace to the city. But when heading to their base, what they find sends them reeling in shock and struggling for survival: these rioters aren’t looting or setting fires: they are ripping people apart.
Armed with only what they can carry, the three set out to secure “The Tower,” an apartment building where they hope to rescue and shelter the survivors scattered amongst the remains of the concrete jungle. Those who take refuge in "The Tower" find out that there is no real safe-haven, and every day brings a new threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With movie-quality sound , and a full cast of characters, this electrifying modern audio drama will immerse you in the battle for survival to find out who can truly claim “We’re Alive!”

cupcakezombie

Jun 9th, 2011, 12:43 PM

That sounds really good. :)
I think having the name of the class is good. It gives it more realism then just saying he is a a class, something to latch onto at the start, makes the day seem more normal before it all changes.

Jun 9th, 2011, 02:16 PM

OK HERE IT IS. The FINAL DRAFT:

 On a quiet Wednesday morning in May, Army Reserve Soldier Michael Cross is settling into his world cultures class at Santa Roja college near Los Angeles, when he hears an explosion in the distance. He rushes out to discover on television that riots have broken out across the county. When the Army recalls them to active duty, Michael and fellow reservists Angel Tunudo and Saul Tink believe their job will be to put down the uprising and restore peace to the city. But when heading to their base, what they find sends them reeling in shock and struggling for survival: these rioters aren’t looting or setting fires, they are ripping people apart.
Armed with only what they can carry, the three set out to secure “The Tower,” an apartment building where they hope to rescue and shelter the survivors scattered amongst the remains of the concrete jungle. Those who take refuge in "The Tower" find out that there is no real safe-haven, and every day brings a new threat. Who can survive in a world overrun by zombies?
With movie-quality sound , and a full cast of characters, this electrifying modern audio drama will immerse you in the battle for survival to find out who can truly claim “We’re Alive!”

nikvoodoo

Jun 9th, 2011, 02:20 PM

Angel's last name is spelled wrong (or the wiki is wrong). Otherwise, I'm sold! it looks great :)

Jun 9th, 2011, 02:22 PM

Angel's last name is spelled wrong (or the wiki is wrong). Otherwise, I'm sold! it looks great :)
Interesting. Considering I took your spelling ;)

Hellbringer

Jun 9th, 2011, 03:30 PM

I was lurking in the back, watching all this transpire, and thus far, I like what I'm reading.

Jun 9th, 2011, 06:26 PM

Ok, I submitted it to the publisher. Thank you everyone for your input and help.

AdrianHD

Jun 10th, 2011, 10:24 AM

Ok, I submitted it to the publisher. Thank you everyone for your input and help.

Congrats on finalizing!